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How It Ends pt. 1


Title: How It Ends
Author: Mary Flanner
Rating: R
Word Count: ~7500 (I KNOW!)
Disclaimer: Not mine, no dime.
Spoilers: S2 up to AVGC.  Soon to be AU as hell, I'm sure.
Warnings: Character death (not K or B), angst--jesus god, the angst!  It burns.  My trademark non-sex in spades
Summary: "We'll be in each other's weddings," he promises.  "On one side or the other."  Post-high school fic.
Author's Note:  Apparently, my headcanon has headcanon.   I so want to be done writing this story.  It just. won't. go. away.
Not necessary to read S&G, there's only one very brief direct allusion
and the pacing and tone are very different.  Blame should be placed on jediylva for wanting to "not hear more."


How it Ends

“Love is like ice in the hands of children.” -- only surviving fragment of Loves of Achilles by Sophocles


It’s a Friday night in Ohio, and nothing anywhere is extraordinary.  The same stars are beginning to creep out into the same mauve dark over the same fields.  A boy is leaving Lima to see his friend and his dad is at home, watching TV with his new wife.  All three wonder if they’re making the right decisions.  But promises made tonight between two boys that are almost men will plant seeds that take years to bloom.  And it will bloom into something that will be the greatest comfort the three of them will ever know.

~*~


Burt’s only an expert about a couple of things.  Mustangs.  Buying presents for women.  His son.  His son, being quite a bit smarter than his old man, must know this.  Therefore, Burt recognizes that the little song and dance they’re about to play out is almost entirely for his benefit.  Kurt’s got the “I’m not telling you something” eye flicker.  He’s got the “nervous to the point of nausea” school bag strap death grip.  And, oddly, he’s got the “there’s a boy” weight shift.  Obviously, there’s been a boy for quite a while and Burt’s awfully fond of that boy.  This leaves one thing: something about The Boy is different.  Burt knows what his son is going to say before he even opens his mouth.

“Dad?”  he says. “I’m staying at Blaine’s. Okay?”

Burt sighs.  It’s not the request.  He’s heard it (or, more appropriately, the not-a-question version of it) on many, many Fridays, when a blur of tight pants and too much aftershave calls out to him as it leaps from the front porch, “Stayin’atBlaine’sDadloveyoubye!”

“Are his parents going to be there?” Burt asks.

Kurt licks then bites his lips, eyes going a little wide.  And here it is.  For the first time in his life, his son is going to lie to him to save his own ass.  Over a boy.

“No,” he says at last.  Kurt faced down breaking the trust of a lifetime and blinked.  Despite the implications of the answer, Burt is happy to have gotten it.

“Sit down,” he sighs.  “I think we need to have a talk.”

Kurt folds himself onto the couch next to him.  Nerves make him graceful, Burt’s noticed, and he’s moving like a dancer right now.  Uh oh.

“I thought we already had that conversation,” Kurt grins a little self-consciously.  “And you must have done a pretty good job--I’ve not be a party to a single unwanted pregnancy.”

Burt laughs.  “This isn’t birds and bees, kid.”  

“Bees and bees?”

In truth, birds and bees had been much easier.  By the time he had gotten around to it, Burt had suspected that the complexities of relations with the fairer sex were going to be lost on his son.  The glassy, slightly disgusted look confirmed Burt’s suspicions.

“Somehow I doubt that I could be much help to with the mechanics of things.  Get serious for a second, though.  We’re overdue.  We should have sat down like this weeks ago.”

Kurt startles and flushes, so Burt knows they’re on the same page.  Last month, he and Carole skipped the post dinner movie and came home to Blaine’s car in the driveway and a silent house.  Burt called “boys?” and heard from Kurt’s room a muffled “Oh fuck!” and “Shit! Shitshitshitshitshit!” and the distinctive clink of what he really hoped was glass wear and not belt buckles.  Kurt emerged with wrinkled clothes and Blaine with messy hair, which told him everything he needed to know.

“Dad, we didn’t--”

Burt cuts him off with a gesture.  “You did or you didn’t, or you’re planning to or you’re not.  That’s not the point.  Someday you will.  And Kurt?  I’ve got to tell you, you’re not so good at thinking things through before you do them.”

Kurt sighs.  “Fortunately, Blaine thinks enough for four of us.”

“That’s my point, Kurt,”  Burt steels himself for what’s coming next.  “You aren’t always going to be with Blaine.”

Whatever reaction Burt was expecting--anger, indignation, annoyance--he didn’t get it.  Kurt slouched, sank deeper into the couch, stared ahead.

“You’re going to go off to college--somewhere far from here--and so is he, and I know what it feels like right now.  But Kurt?  High school romances seldom last forever, even if you stay put.”

Kurt has his hands clenched and his eyes squeezed shut.  “I know, Dad,” he says just above a whisper.  “I know.”

“I don’t know what your plans are for this weekend.  But I know it involves staying over, alone.  You’ve never done it before, Kurt, so you don’t know how...intimate... sharing a bed with someone is.  I’m not talking about sex.  Frankly, I’m not thrilled about that, but I’m not worried about it, either.  You’re smart enough to protect yourself.  I’m talking about waking up next to another person.  Sleeping beside them.   That’s a lot bigger deal than, well... than doing something even animals do.”

Kurt’s face is completely unreadable.  Too many emotions, too much confusion.  Sadness.  Excitement.  But mostly conflict.  Burt continues.

“Now like I said, you’re not going to be with this boy forever.  You have,” he chokes a little, unexpectedly, “you at least have the benefit of knowing that ahead of time.  I’m telling you son, if you get used to being with someone like that, it never feels right without it again.”

By now silent tears are running down the boy’s cheeks and he’s clinging to the edges of his composure.  “I know, Dad.  I think about college every day.  I’ve spent my whole life looking forward to getting out of this town and I never thought I’d ever have any reason not to be miserable here.  I mean, I dreamed of having a boyfriend.  And when I got one, I was so happy.  But I just...” he breaks down a little and wipes his cheeks with the ball of his hand.  “I never thought I’d love him this much, Dad.”

Burt hugs his son to him and lets him cry into his neck.  “I know, Kurt.  I know.  It’s so hard being young.”  He remembers those days with a clarity than can only come from never having left.  He knows Kurt will have no such issue--he’ll be out the door and out of the state the day he graduates--but right now that doesn’t matter.  Right now, his whole world is built around text messages and big, funny-colored eyes and snuck kisses he thinks nobody sees.  And it’s got to be worse for the kid, because while Burt’s lovestruck teenage mooning was bad enough, he at least had a sea full of other fish when things went south.  Burt’s sure there are other gay kids at Dalton, and probably even at McKinley, but how many?  Maybe ten?  And how many of them are out?  Three?  Four?  At least one of which has to have been Blaine’s ex-boyfriend.  If this boy goes, all of Kurt’s dreams of having some semblance of a normal teenagerdom go with him.

After a while, Kurt takes a deep breath, composes himself, and sits back up.  “The thing is, I’ve thought about this.  Kind of a lot.  But...well, what you said earlier...it’s going to happen someday, right?  And I...I’m just afraid that...I know from crappy firsts, Dad, and this is one I can control.  I mean, it can either happen now, with someone I love that I know loves me back, because we care about each other and just want to be together that way.  Or it can happen when I’m a lonely college freshman with some random guy at a bar because I’ve had too many shots of tequila.”

Burt wishes that, just once, his son could do something that made him happy out of nothing more complicated than just wanting to, instead of desperation.  He wants to argue, but he knows Kurt’s got a point.  He’d love to think nothing like that would ever happen and that Kurt will have his heart broken just a little when Blaine leaves, go off to college, have a few casual dates that end with a handshake, then meet the love of his life and get married and stay married until the day he dies--first.  And maybe it will be like that.  Who knows?  But there’s a lot of uncertainty and Kurt’s impulsiveness and inability to curb the enthusiasm of his heart aren’t working in his favor.

If Kurt were going to his girlfriend’s house, that’d be easy.  It would be a resounding “no,” and a look that indicated he was clearly crazy.  If Burt had though for one second Kurt was actually going to have sex with that leggy blond he “caught” him with that time, he’d have dragged him out of that basement by his cufflinks.   If Kurt were his daughter, the question wouldn’t have come up at all, because looking so much like his mother, Burt would have made camp on the front porch with a shotgun the day he turned 13.  But as much as he hates to admit it, this situation turns right and wrong upside down.  

He’s been chewing on how he feels about things for a long time--what are the limits and why are they there?  Nobody’s getting pregnant, obviously, which is number one with a bullet on the list of reasons to keep your teenage son in check.  There’s a morality argument, but Burt’s looked sideways at “morality” ever since it tried to tell him that the most genuine, sensitive, caring boy you would ever meet is doing something terrible just by waking up in the morning.  He’s left with protecting Kurt from himself and from a young gentleman that has never been anything but a godsend.  If anything, Blaine might be the one in need of protection.

Maybe Blaine can be inoculation against the men that will someday try to take advantage Kurt.  Maybe if Burt grits his teeth and lets this happen, Kurt will come to expect to be treated with the respect and love Blaine gives him and there will be fewer nights spent crying over someone unfit to polish his shoes, much less be the cause of his tears.  No one is ever good enough for your baby, but Blaine is pretty damn close.

“Whose idea was this?” he asks, continuing the routine.

“Both of ours.  But he told me to ask you first.  And not to come if you said no.”

“What are you planning on doing?”

“I don’t know.  Nothing.  Just...being around each other without a hundred people over our shoulders.”

“He’s not pressuring you to do anything you don’t want to, is he?”

Kurt barks with laughter.  “Oh, Dad, if you only knew.”

“Well, I don’t, and I don’t think I want to.  One more question.”

“Shoot.”

“Will you call when you get there?”

Kurt’s smiles his most genuine smile, the one that makes his mouth look too wide and crinkles his eyes almost shut.  The one he’s usually too self-conscious to let out  because he knows solemnity suits his sharp features better.  The one that makes Burt forget he’s 16 and not six.

“I always do,” he says, kissing his cheek.  “See you Sunday?”

“See you tomorrow.”

The door clicks shut and the house sinks back into an emptiness that Carole and Finn have helped alleviate, but can never entirely fill.  When Kurt came home from Dalton, Burt felt like he’d gotten a stay of execution.  Someday that door is going to close on him a final time, and he’s going to drive off a grown man, only to return on holidays and the odd weekend.  Someday, he’s going to kiss his dad on the cheek and say “I’m heading home now,” and mean someplace other than here.  

Today isn’t that day.  

Burt knows it’s one night, and it’s barely anything more than the dozens of sleepovers with friends Burt was actually sort of grateful for.  It feels different, though.  Like something has changed between them and a different boy--a different young man-- is going to glide into the living room tomorrow, probably with his polite and handsome boyfriend (lover?) in tow.  Burt will go to his grave never asking what happens tonight, but even if those two do nothing more than quote scripture to each other from opposite ends of the couch, the fact remains that Burt has handed the reigns of Kurt’s life and body to Kurt himself.  He prays sixteen years was long enough to teach him to steer straight.

~*~


If Burt had ever asked, however, he would have been relieved.  All they do is sleep and talk.  Late night closeness and Kurt’s conversation with his father loosens their tongues and they find themselves talking about the future for the first time.

They swear that night that after they graduate--which is a hundred thousand years from now--they’ll do whatever it takes to stay best friends.  It means, once they leave for college, not being boyfriends and not trying to stay in a “relationship” and not feeling committed to each other in a romantic sense.  What they were to each other first was the kind of friends that you can carry with you forever if you don’t screw it up.

“We’ll be in each other’s weddings,” Blaine promises.  “On one side or the other.”

~*~


Graduation, it turns out, isn’t actually a hundred thousand years away and it’s there before they know it.  They trade gifts laden with the pretentious, maudlin depth of young love: Kurt gives Blaine a gold medallion of Saint Jude, the patron saint of hope for the hopeless.  They reminisce and hug and kiss and more and settle in for a summer of living deliberately.

~*~


Kurt’s got that face on.  The one where he is going to say something and you not wanting to hear it, or it being a bad idea to say out loud, or it not even making a lot of sense is absolutely not going to stop him.  Blaine sighs into his book and readies himself for the oncoming storm.

“I’m afraid of going to college a virgin.”

Okay.  That’s a whole new level of “what the fuck.”  Blaine takes a moment to compose himself and to decide exactly how much he’s going to regret it if he follows this line of discussion.

“First of all, at what point did we become the gay version of a teen movie?  And secondly, I think you calling yourself a virgin is really pushing maximum density of that word’s meaning.”

Kurt closes his eyes impatiently.  “Blaine.  First of all, I’m serious.  Secondly, I’m still a virgin in the way that counts.  And so are you.  I think.  You never said directly, but I’m going by the other stuff you hadn’t done before me and how everything kind of goes in a certain order.  Did you go out of order?”

Oh good god.  The “counts” thing again.   Had Kurt been a girl, Blaine is afraid to think about what he would have done when he got his first period.

“Kurt, I don’t think your ‘counts’ and my ‘counts’ are the same thing here.  I’ve been counting for a pretty long time.  Like, pre-you long time.  To be blunt.”

Kurt looks offended, puzzled, horrified, curious.  Angry?  “Ok, fine, Don Juan.  What ‘counts’ to you?”

Blaine thinks for a moment then, against his better judgement, answers, “Achieving climax with the assistance of another person equals not a virgin.”

Kurt is looking at him like he’s an incredibly stupid child.  “By your reasoning, I lost my virginity to Paul Newman the night my dad made me watch Cool Hand Luke with him the first time.  That’s the worst definition I’ve ever heard.”

“You could do worse than Newman,” Blaine dodges.  Kurt is patient, though.  Aggravatingly patient.  Blaine knows he’ll wait him out with an eyebrow and questions timed for the exact second he feels safe to go back to his reading.  Fine.  He’ll play.  “So, Kurt, even though I’m kind of afraid to know, please tell me what ‘counts’ to you and why you apparently think what we’ve been doing for the last several months doesn’t.”

“Actual sex,” he says.

“You’ve done actual things that actually have ‘sex’ in the name.  So done and done.”

“God, Blaine, don’t make me say it.  I can, but I won’t, it’s too vulgar and completely unromantic.”

This is getting old.  Pretty fast, actually.  “Say what, Kurt, ‘sex’?  You say it all the time.  You said it three seconds ago.”

Now they’re both annoyed.  This is going to end great.  “The other half of that phrase, Blaine.  I’m not going to say it because it sounds awful.  And disgusting.  And not like something people who are as coolly superior as we are would actually participate in.  Even the euphemism are horrible.  Sodomy?  Buggery? Keelhauling?”

“Keel--Kurt, that’s not what that means.”

Kurt looks taken utterly aback.  “Wait, no?  So pirates don’t--”

“Oh, I’m positive that pirates do, that’s just not what keelhauling is.  Or it wasn’t.  Now it is.”

They look at each other for a moment then burst out laughing.  “So all this time, I though pirate movies were so much better than they actually were,” Kurt gasps.  “My childhood.  Ruined!”

Blaine can barely breathe.  “Oh my god, oh my gu--oh!  So, like, you though Treaure Island involved gay sex?  I now understand everything about you.”  

“Well, Jesus, Blaine, look at their names!  ‘Long John Silver’?  ‘Calico Jack’?”

“‘Captain Dee’s’?”  It’s starting to hurt he’s laughing so hard.  If he doesn’t stop, he’s going to pass out or pee himself or worse.  They eventually die down to shuddery giggles, collapsed next to each other on the bed.  Kurt winds their fingers together tenderly, still flushed and smiling impossibly wide, but more serious.

“This is why I want it to be you,” he says more softly.  “The first time is going to be strange and awkward and probably kind of terrible and I’m really, truly scared of being humiliated.  But you’ll make it okay.  You won’t embarrass me about it, no matter how bad I am at it.  I don’t think before I do things, Blaine.  You know that.  I don’t want to get to school and not think and have an awful experience.  If it’s ever going to be okay with anyone, it’s going to be okay with you.”

When Kurt’s being sincere like this--when the bravado and posturing are gone and it’s just this naked, open honesty he wears so well--Blaine loves him the most and can almost never tell him no.  But this isn’t that easy.

“I know what you mean.  And, no, I didn’t ‘go out of order,’ I haven’t done that either.  You know that and you were just trying to get a reaction out of me.  I kind of feel the same way, though.  Not about not thinking--that’s no problem here--but about you.  How you’d make it okay.  Part of me does want it to be you.  But part of me...”  He doesn’t want to talk about this right now.  He always winds up feeling punched in the gut and unable to sleep and unable to just enjoy their time together because he’s thinking about how it’s all going to end.  Kurt looks so frightened, though, and hurt.  He can’t just leave it there.

“Part of me doesn’t want to make this worse than it’s already going to be.  I know we’re doing the right thing, just being friends after graduation.  I know it, because we can either have that forever or try doing the stupid long distance thing and either have an ugly break-up or just...grow apart.  And that’s good, right?  It’s just not going to be easy.  And I think if we--if we’re together that way--it’s going to be harder to just...stop.”

Kurt’s somber now, thinking hard.  “What if it’s our goodbye?” he asks, shaking a little.  “What if that’s like...the grand finale, right before we leave.  We do that and leave as friends with this amazing bond and nothing left to wonder about?”  He turns over on his side so he can make better eye contact.  “Don’t tell me you won’t wonder.  I will.  You’ve had all my firsts--from holding hands on.  There’s only one more left and it just seems...appropriate.  Right.”

His throat is so tight he doesn’t know if he can answer.  He will wonder, he knows.  And if it’s just once, just that crucial first time, then it can’t become complacent and he can’t get used to it.  They can make this special, which is a lot more than most people get.  He wants this because he wants him and he can’t imagine how long it will take to love someone else this much.

“Okay,” he chokes.  “Okay.”


Tags:

Comments

( 35 comments — Tell Mama )
jediylva
Dec. 31st, 2010 06:29 am (UTC)
This hit my parent-nerve so HARD. Will come back later for the rest.
mary_flanner
Jan. 2nd, 2011 03:38 am (UTC)
Stupid parent nerve.
jediylva
Jan. 3rd, 2011 08:25 am (UTC)
From now on Burt Hummel is my parenting hero.
I hope I will remember his thoughts and his exchange with Kurt in about 13 years...
And "but Burt’s looked sideways at “morality” ever since it tried to tell him that the most genuine, sensitive, caring boy you would ever meet is doing something terrible just by waking up in the morning". Go Burt!!!
angelbabii1
Dec. 31st, 2010 08:15 am (UTC)
i reread the first paragraph after finishing the whole story and starting crying my eyes out.

you are a sensation.

please publish something (if you haven't yet) or direct me to more of your brilliant-ness.
mary_flanner
Jan. 2nd, 2011 03:39 am (UTC)
Aw. I've never published fiction. Just lit crit essays, which a) have my for real life name on them and b) are incredibly boring to non-lit crit people.
ooshady_girloo
Dec. 31st, 2010 08:19 am (UTC)
i always seem so inarticulate when it it comes to reviewing. saying "i love everything" seems like i'm going for a cop-out. but i do!

your writing is so beautiful and whole. Burt's talk with Kurt alone is one i need to file away, because i learned a thing or two.
mary_flanner
Jan. 2nd, 2011 03:39 am (UTC)
LOL. I'm happy you learned something. "The More You Know."
heartsasmagnets
Dec. 31st, 2010 09:04 am (UTC)
you don’t know how...intimate... sharing a bed with someone is....I’m talking about waking up next to another person. Sleeping beside them. That’s a lot bigger deal than, well... than doing something even animals do.”

This is so true. So so so so so true. I've never had sex before, but I've slept with a guy. It was incredibly intimate and wonderful yet difficult at the same time. It was the catalyst that showed us we weren't ready to be together.
(Deleted comment)
heartsasmagnets
Jan. 3rd, 2011 01:16 am (UTC)
That's really sweet. ♥
(Deleted comment)
mary_flanner
Dec. 31st, 2010 12:33 pm (UTC)
*scowl* Pay no attention to that inconsistency behind the curtain. (You win the no-prize.)

RETCON: Blaine was indulging Kurt. He knew what he meant by "sex" and felt like moralizing.
(Deleted comment)
mary_flanner
Dec. 31st, 2010 04:57 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
mary_flanner
Jan. 2nd, 2011 03:40 am (UTC)
BETTER RETCON: I intentionally write in inconsistencies in their personalities because I want to preserve the feel of the show.
pushplaytobegin
Jan. 22nd, 2011 02:43 am (UTC)
RETCON SUPPOSITION: You intentionally write in inconsistencies because human memory is unreliable and encompasses a capacity for denial that could power starships, if only we could harness it.

Blaine knows he’ll wait him out with an eyebrow and questions timed for the exact second he feels safe to go back to his reading. Differs from my headcanon only in that Kurt waits until Blaine has already gone back to his reading, counts to ten, and then asks the question. Because, y'know, people who are really irritated tend to just blurt out whatever they're thinking.

And the line about once you've slept with someone, it never quite feels right after, God, yes. Blaine agreeing to sleep with Kurt, already my heart is breaking.
pumpkinriver
Dec. 31st, 2010 01:44 pm (UTC)
This was wonderful. Really evocative.
mary_flanner
Jan. 2nd, 2011 03:40 am (UTC)
"Evocative"! Cool!
morkhan
Dec. 31st, 2010 02:24 pm (UTC)
Keeheehehehehehehaha. Keelhauling. Oh God, that entire pirate conversation was just the best. Ever. XD And is it strange that I pictured Blaine helping Kurt here by pulling out his guitar and singing that song from Family Guy?

Well there once were two cowboys, all alone out on the trail
And they discovered they could sleep with another male,

Now they're having buttsex!
Cowboy buttsex!

Sodomyyyyyyyyyyyy
(Come on everybody!)
Sodomyyyyyyyyyyyy

Sodomy.


The places my mind can go... :P

Oh, and I loved Burt's sex talk, because it was so personal. Burt is well aware of Kurt's strengths and weaknesses, and he knows that it's his son's heart that needs protecting, not his 'precious flower' or whatever dudes have.
mary_flanner
Jan. 2nd, 2011 03:41 am (UTC)
*precious flower* snert.

I will not rest until "keelhauling" has a widely know sexual definition. Suggestions?
dusmarais
Dec. 31st, 2010 04:07 pm (UTC)
I wasn't expecting this when I clicked the cut. Talk about heartwrenching.
razberrycreme
Jan. 11th, 2011 02:24 am (UTC)
TEAR SO GOOD T____T
misuslovett
Jan. 20th, 2011 07:17 am (UTC)
this is wonderful oh god just wonderful. Especially the last bit just GOD I got all choked up.

I have no words ♥
happyinchintz72
Jan. 24th, 2011 03:29 am (UTC)
This made me cry ... a lot.

It started mainly when you wrote about St Jude. My Grandfather gave my mum a St Jude charm just before he died in order to pass to me on my Graduation. That hit me hard when you wrote that - just so you know, it happens :) So wonderful.

It's not the first time I've cried reading your writing. It's so raw and emotional that it creates a deep feeling. THAT is talent.

Btw- am I being stupid and missing something, where was the character death? I was holding my breath throughout worrying, ha!
mary_flanner
Jan. 24th, 2011 02:58 pm (UTC)
The character death happens in part 2. Again, it's not Kurt or Blaine, and it's not graphic--so you're not stupid, just not finished ;)

I'm glad St. Jude touches you like he touches me. I'm not even Catholic--heck, I'm an *athiest,* but something about there being a Patron Saint of Hopeless Causes really gets me. I keep a candle to him in my daughter's bedroom (she was kind of a miracle baby).

Although I'm sorry you cried. Sort of. Sometimes crying is nice.
ramen_girl_13
Feb. 12th, 2011 02:15 am (UTC)
*has tears in eyes*

Oh, Burt!! How I love him! And God, the way you write these two, it makes me melt into a puddle of emotional goop. <3
jediylva
Mar. 9th, 2011 01:20 pm (UTC)
After "Sexy" I truly believe that Murphy's people are reading your stuff. I have confidence in the future for our boys.
meryljane
Apr. 3rd, 2011 11:32 pm (UTC)
I'm almost certain that the keelhauling conversation is the GREATEST THING I'VE EVER READ.
And I am certain that all of your stories - especially this universe - are the best fanfiction I've ever read.
mary_flanner
Apr. 21st, 2011 12:55 am (UTC)
Thanks on both accounts (but especially on liking keelhauling)
kappamaki33
May. 16th, 2011 07:48 am (UTC)
Okay, I have been meaning to comment on this for a very, very long time, and now insomnia is giving me the time to do so.

Burt is just wonderful here. His talk about the intimacy of waking up beside someone is really quite prescient of his rendition of The Talk with Kurt in "Sexy." I also love that he's actually thought about why he has the views he does on Kurt having sex, how it's specific to who his kid is and whom his kid loves rather than just the easy, blanket "no sex 'til your 35 'cause I said so" approach.

I have so much love for the delicate balance of heartache and humor throughout this. Kurt's snark about losing his virginity to Paul Newman, and "keelhauling"--I will never look at the word keelhauling the same, so thank you for that, Kurt. And then the conversation turns serious again so gracefully.
mary_flanner
May. 17th, 2011 02:51 pm (UTC)
I'm so happy you commented. You have no idea how much I love novel-length comments. So worth the wait!

I've kind of ruined keelhauling for myself, too. And, unfortunately, because Mary Flanner is a SUPER SECRET IDENTITY NOT EVEN MY HUSBAND KNOWS ABOUT!!! I can't giggle at it IRL.

Sigh.
blue_peridot
Jun. 4th, 2011 06:12 am (UTC)
ohmyfreakingGOD this is so beautiful i want to cry and laugh and hug them both. there's so much love here, but there's the potential for so, so much pain. i don't even know. i really, really hope this has a sequel. the characterizations are so, so good and the situations are painfully realistic. gah.
gleekto
Jul. 7th, 2011 01:51 pm (UTC)
I love this story. And I read it like 2 weeks ago but things keep coming back to me. Especially this - I love this about Burt. And I think it's consistent with his character (some people write him way more overprotective than I think he is). This -

"...living room tomorrow, probably with his polite and handsome boyfriend (lover?) in tow. Burt will go to his grave never asking what happens tonight, but even if those two do nothing more than quote scripture to each other from opposite ends of the couch, the fact remains that Burt has handed the reigns of Kurt’s life and body to Kurt himself. He prays sixteen years was long enough to teach him to steer straight."

-Handing the reigns of his life and body to Kurt himself. Yes. Very hard to do as a parent. But exactly right, because what choice do you have anyways? I love the way you described this.

And this - I love the little bits of sweet fluff amidst the seriousness -

"He’s not pressuring you to do anything you don’t want to, is he?”

Kurt barks with laughter. “Oh, Dad, if you only knew.”"

-And the whole conversation between K+B about virginity - hilarious, true and I agree with and LOVE Blaine in it -

“First of all, at what point did we become the gay version of a teen movie? And secondly, I think you calling yourself a virgin is really pushing maximum density of that word’s meaning.” - Yes!!

I have always found the whole virginity culture silly - I tend to agree with Blaine and it's something we breeders can learn from the queer community, which tends to have a much broader definition of what sex is. But alas, there's still that one last thing...and they choose each other.

I'll review part 2 next.




theromanticnerd
Sep. 12th, 2011 07:57 am (UTC)
I am so dismayed to find that I have missed this for some reason. How? Why?

At least there is something for me to read today in this verse that is new and awesome and Mama :)
mary_flanner
Sep. 12th, 2011 01:24 pm (UTC)
Oh my gosh! This is, like, the one thing people have read by me! That's awesome that you hadn't seen it.
evemarie_earth
Jan. 15th, 2012 07:18 am (UTC)
"Maybe Blaine can be inoculation against the men that will someday try to take advantage Kurt."

You make a good point here.

I can feel the sadness welling up within this story. Will it break me? Or will it not?
jazzypizzaz
Jun. 21st, 2012 07:15 pm (UTC)
You've hit Burt spot-in. Amazing how he can steal every scene. best dad ever!
whisperyvoices
Sep. 22nd, 2012 02:21 pm (UTC)
By the grace of all that is wonderful & benevolent in the Universe, I saw a rec for a story written by you. Firstly, *sob* that there won't be any more. Secondly, *wow*.

There's a reason people praise the life out of you in this fandom.

Off to part two!
( 35 comments — Tell Mama )